You are currently browsing the monthly archive for August 2009.
Bjorn Flugelhorn crowns our champion
It only seems fitting that something as extravagant as a Penguin Parade should culminate in some sort of best-dressed glory, and so the Institute of Animal Haberdashery board members quickly came up with the Primo Penguin title.
The Primo Penguin crown celebrates poise, grace and handsome headgear, and this year’s obvious winner was Miss Marvetta Malloy of Maroochydore!
Marvetta was not just awarded this stunning spectacle of a tiara, but offered a place on the travelling board of the Institute of Animal Haberdashery, filling in for one Mr. Stinky Winkerbean, whose ripeness was considered a threat to the fragile Australian ecosystem.
Nothing like a God-given tuxedo paired with a fancy hat!
Dear friends, the Institute Headquarters is now safely back at sea after suffering through a near three weeks of Australian telecommunications, or lack there of!
No mind! Our Australian Odyssey was one Bacchanalian bonanza after another, and we did take a lot of pictures, even if we were unable to post them.
Having moored in Melbourne, our first stop on our journey was the Phillip Island Penguin Parade where we were greeted with a fanfare unknown to Queen Elizabeth II herself (or so I posit). The entire park was closed to the rif raf for the evening so that our feathered friends could exhibit their very particular flair for haberdashery.The over the top spectacle left us with no doubt as to why these are called Fairy Penguins!
Happiness is...
Ah my friends, I am terribly apologetic about my lack of posts but I have been at the mercy of an Australian internet connection all week! I am told by the big roo in charge that this should be fixed in a couple of days.
No worries I say! Fair Dinkum! Who needs internet when you have beauties such as these to gaze on?
Founding Members of The Institute of Animal Haberdashery
Ladies and Gentlemen, the last few days I have become obsessed with the past (a condition brought on by an Australian internet connection, the butterchurn of broadband). I have unearthed for your ocular satisfaction, the only known image of the founding members of The Institute of Animal Haberdashery and General Fanciness.
What a splendid looking bunch!!!
What is that smell?
How to explain the living and breathing bouquet that is Stinky Winkerbean? Let’s start with a base of curdled milk and pig’s droppings. Next we’ll add a few undertones: sneakers worn sockless, day-old scotch breath and a six-week-worn plaster cast. A top-note of doritos and a hint of vanilla and there you have it. The essence of a mad man.
The concept of taking minutes during board meetings was invented for members of Mr. Winkerbean’s ilk. He can keep up to date on motions without the risk of being inhaled.
Winkerbean lives in a well-ventilated room at the back of the Institute. No one has ever dared visiting him.
Masters of the Barnyard Beat
Tonight at the Institute Nightery we are ecstatic to welcome legendary duo, Kid n’ Hay.
Don’t let their Yo MTV Raps! style fool you, these guys are straight-up adult contemporary all the way. Just the way I love it. In fact, I once saw Kid n’ Hay play a quadruple bill with Michael McDonald, John Tesh and Kenny G. Ah, the Rapture!
Institute Founder Polonius H. Probiscus the Fourteenth (with wife Beulah)
Many of you have been questioning me about the origins of the Institute of Animal Haberdashery and General Fanciness. A fascinating yarn, really, if you have a moment.
My Great Grandfather, Polonius H. Probiscus the Fourteenth, was stealing stores of fruit from the local village one day when he came across a book of fashions from the 1800′s. To Polonius, who had always felt rather naked, fashion was a revelation of biblical proportions.
He brought the book home to his rather crass and cranky wife Beulah who snarled in his face. After much coaxing, teeth-baring and flashing of his nether regions, Beulah agreed to help him construct some outfits. They wove a special coarse muslin-like fabric from butterfly wings and banana peels, and stitched their creations together using porcupine quills and crab grass.
They debuted their outfits at a local jungle-council meeting (pictured above) where the night’s agenda was postponed to allow enough time for derision, disdain and disparagement. No mind! Polonius was not discouraged. As the crowd guffawed he made up his mind, he would dedicate his life to teaching his peers to respect and revere fashion… the Institute was born!
May your fancies be tickled and your livers be pickled!
